You Get What You Allow
Updated: Aug 20
Anyone Else Excited That The Kids Are Going Back To School?
My kids are in high school and middle school now and I'm ready for them to go back to school. I know I'm supposed to have a single tear rolling down my cheek as they walk back into the building to tackle another year.... but nope...I'm good.
When they were smaller and we homeschooled, it was a little different. I was much more attached to their daily routines, they really needed me at every turn for direction and opportunity to train them in how to react to every situation of the day. They don't need me as much now, and I am learning to let go more and enjoy watching them start to navigate things on their own. I was so blessed early on to learn a phrase that was a guidepost for me and how my husband and I trained our kids: “You get what you allow.”
The "Back to School" Reset...
As parents, we all want our children to grow into kind, respectful, and confident people. We want them to make good choices, treat others well, listen to those in authority, and understand that their actions have consequences. But sometimes, on days when were tired and just want to keep the peace, we allow behaviors that we know aren't good for our children. A little longer on the game device, letting that rude remark to a sibling slide because we don't have the energy for a fight... you know what I'm talking about and we have all done it.
Going back to school can be a perfect time to take a fresh look at what we are allowing in our homes. Our summers usually mean later bedtimes, relaxed rules, or letting a little attitude slide. That doesn't make anyone a bad parent, but a new school year can be an opportunity to reset and re-establish expectations to bring the family back into balance.
What Does It Mean Practically?
I start this process about a week before school starts, time to have a little family meeting, start going to bed a little earlier and get ready for the fall.
What will the school year look like at your house?
What time do we need to leave the house to be on time in the morning?
What's the plan for baths/showers? Night before or morning of?
Do we need to pack a lunch or snacks the night before?
Should we lay out our clothes the night before?
Who is taking care of the dog/cat in the morning?
What are the best breakfast choices for grab and go protein/lo sugar?
What time should dinner be?
When will homework be completed?
How much screen time is allowed after homework?
What time will bedtime be?
My kids always do better when we have talks like this ahead of time...my husband and I do better too!
Be Careful though, you might be seen as a "strict parent"...
At the risk of being seen as traditional and conservative...ha... ha... ha...
The Bible has some great things to say about raising children and giving direction...
Proverbs 22:6 (KJV) says:
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Ephesians 6:4 (KJV) says:
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (KJV) says:
“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children...”
Being a strict parent and going through this prep when it comes to school is definitely harder. But it's worth the fruit later on. We can all think of kids who haven't received training and it shows. Not only as they become older kids, but adults. That's why I like this phrase, "You Get What You Allow". It's a good reference, for when we hit that point where we need to make sure bad habits aren't becoming the norm, and something that we all have to pay the price for later on.
So, for the mom who is homeschooling and the mom who is sending their kiddos off to school.....I've done both! I hope you have a great year:)
Keep praying and keep going:) xoxo
Scottie Asay - Author of The Joy In The Crazy Blog
Scottie is Co-Owner of Asay Creates, LLC with her husband Steve Asay. She loves Jesus first, her husband and amazing kids next and America. Then traveling, cooking, decorating, Jane Austen, chocolate and a good tea party in her spare time. Ha. Ha. Ha.
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