Somewhere Between Suffer & Struggle

Hey mom....Is it me, or is there A LOT going on right now?

Oh yeah....a lot going on in our families, our communities, our churches, our country. It feels like the whole world has gone mad. In fact I can't think of any mom I know that isn't going through something difficult right now. Hopefully I can help you remember how important you are. In fact, the "mom" role is irreplaceable, You can't run by the store and pick one up, you can't order it online, and there isn't an AI option that provides the heart and soul needed to be a excellent mom. Moms know this and carry it deep in their heart. They know they have to be resilient and tough, and often it will fall on them. Whether your kiddo is 3...33....or 53, being a mom is always there...never goes away. There will always be something to encourage them through, hold the standard for. There will always be love through the suffering and struggle. .

I saw a post on social media recently that was talking about how much mothers suffer and struggle, and it's been on my mind since seeing it. I guess I've always thought of those two words as basically meaning the same thing, but it was bugging me so much that I decided to look them up and found something that I thought was interesting. Here are the definitions of these two words from the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 5th edition. In case you were dying to know that.....

What's the Difference Between "Suffer" And "Struggle"?

Suffer: Intransitive Verb

1) To feel pain or distress; sustain injury or harm.

"Suffer from arthritis"

"Made the people suffer for their disloyalty"

2) To have a specified shortcoming or weakness.

"Writing that suffers from poor organization"

3) To sustain a loss, setback, or decline in effectiveness, become worse.

"When morale drops, the company's performance suffers"

Then there's struggle...

Struggle: Intransitive Verb

1) To exert muscular energy, as against force or mass.

"Struggle with a heavy load"

2) To be strenuously engaged with a problem, task or undertaking.

"Struggled for years before breaking through as an actor."

3) To have difficulty or make a strenuous effort doing something.

"Struggled to be polite"

Incoming & Outgoing...

To me when I read this, "suffer" feels like something that you can't control and happens to you. It's incoming, if you will. You're forced to respond to it in some way. "Struggle" feels more like outgoing, something you are in control of and choosing to push through. You can suffer being hit by a car and struggle to pay the bills because you chose to be a stay at home mom and live on a tight budget.

Since the Bible is always my main source, I went to find a few verses about these two words and here are some that I found for suffer:

Romans 5:3-5: "Suffering produces endurance, character, and hope."

Romans 8:18: "Present sufferings cannot compare to the future glory to be revealed."

1 Peter 5:10: "After suffering for a little while, God will restore and strengthen you."

Then there's struggle....

Genesis 32:28: "Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

Job 13:24): "He struggled with feeling abandoned, asking, "Why do you hide your face and consider me your enemy?"

Ephesians 6:12: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

How To React & Be Proactive...

Turns out it is two separate situations, so how do we walk through them? I mean, all of us have suffered things we didn't see coming or thought would never happen. For example, early in our marriage, my husband and I suffered four miscarriages. We wanted children and never dreamed we couldn't have them. We suffered through years, of physical pain, trying again and again just to be disappointed and watching our friends and family members have children and start families without any problems. It was a very difficult time to walk through and we were forced to react. We could become bitter or choose to trust in the Lord and what he was doing. We chose trusting him and the Lord walked with us. The result over time was that our faith in him grew in a way that is hard to put into words. Huge....

After we went through that season, the Lord put it on our hearts to adopt out of Foster Care. And that process was a real struggle. We kept at if for about 2 years. Going through trainings, waiting a few months for the next training, getting certifications, looking for children in the system, praying praying praying, going to court appts, waiting a few more months, finally finding our children, having them live with us as Foster children and not having full guardianship over them, going through another interview, waiting a few more months, and then finally legalizing them as our children. It was uphill and emotional the whole way, but we struggled through and didn't give up. And by the end of all those combined years, our faith increased 10 fold. Today,we have four children waiting for us in heaven and two wonderful children to raise here on earth. God is so good and we were victorious! But it wasn't without two very different stages of suffering and struggle.

A Mother's Special Suffering & Struggle

Mother's day is just around the corner and I know there are many mothers who will read this. I know it's joyful and really hard all at the same time. There are things you have suffered that you didn't see coming in a million years and there are struggles you choose to keep chipping away at every single day. Be encouraged.... You're their mom, your heart, love and care can't be replaced. You're pushing through because their life is important, both now and who they will become as adults. I'm positive you're doing better than you think you are and your children are blessed beyond measure to have you. I and so many others are proud of you and I hope you have a restful and peaceful Mother's Day.

Keep praying and keep going:) xoxo

Scottie Asay - Author of Little House In Big America Blog

Scottie is Co-Owner of Asay Creates, LLC with her husband Steve Asay. She loves Jesus first, her husband and amazing kids next and America. Then traveling, cooking, decorating, Jane Austen, chocolate and a good tea party in her spare time. Ha. Ha. Ha.

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Here is a list on Amazon of some of my favorite restful things - A perfect list for Mother's Day!

Restful Gift Ideas For Mother's Day 2026 (Amazon)

Here are of my favorite books to encourage daily joy in the crazy:

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young  (Amazon)

God's Promises For Your Every Need by Thomas Nelson and A. Gill (Amazon)

The Power Of A Praying Wife Book Of Prayers by Stormie Omartian (Amazon)

The Power Of A Praying Mom: Powerful Prayers For You And Your Children by Stormie Omartian (Amazon)

The Women Of The Bible Speak by Shannon Bream (Amazon)